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Friday, January 30, 2009

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT IN THEIR MEN

Men are mare mortals. Born of women though created by God the Supreme Being. For every man there is a woman created for him. Right from the onset man was created not to be alone that was why when God created man, he noticed that he cannot be alone and made woman to keep him company. There are a lot of qualities that women look out for in their men. These qualities may defer from one woman to the other but the deviation may not be that much. The question then is “ Is there any perfect man?” If there is none, why then do women look out for these qualities in their men?
You may be a prince charming, you may be the richest man that have ever lived, are these what women want in their men? This article is going to unfold all those special and specific qualities that women generally look out for in a man. When you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, I will bet that over 90% of women want their men to be all of these;
· Loving: Every woman will want her man to be a loving guy. The word love today is used so freely and carelessly that the meaning is not felt again in the word. Every woman will want her man to always shower her with endless love.
· Understanding: Women like men who understand. Every woman will like a man who understands her mood, countenance, attitude, nature, feelings, temper, values, likes and dislikes.
· Honest: Women like honest men. It is very important for a man to be very honest to his woman. Let your yes be yes and your no, no. Honesty builds trust in your relationship with your woman. So make sure you are always honest to her. She will want to always take you for your word.
· Care: Women are over grown babies. They need care. They want to be pampered. Always show them that you care and are always ready to be there for her.
· Support: Women like men that are supportive. They are the weaker sex remember. They always need a shoulder to lean on. They want their men to be there for them at all times.
· Independence: Every woman wants a man who can stand on his own legs. You can take a decision on your own without being influenced by your friends, parents, colleagues etc. Women want their men to be engaged with a job or business that can take care of his and her own needs.
· Respect: Your woman will want you to respect her. She wants to be called your angel. She will want you to share her opinion and listen to her if need be.
· Communication: Every woman will want to know where you are at all time, what you are doing, what you want to do, who you are seeing, why you are seeing him or her, your plan for the future, your plan for both of you etc. Women like their men to be open to them at all times and not keep them in the dark with what is going on in their man’s life.
· Focus: Women like men who are focused. They like men who have dreams, goals and objectives in life. Your woman will like you more when she finds out you have a great dream and follow it up.
· Appearance: Who says looks don’t have a role in relationship? For most women, their men have to be very handsome before they can date.
· Financial Stability: For most women they want their men to be financially stable. At least the man can take care of himself, the woman and their immediate needs. The man need not be a moneybag, but at least he has to have a means of stable income.
· Fidelity: No woman will want to share her banana with a monkey. Every woman wants to have her man to her self alone. Women like men who are faithful to them. Most relationships that would have been fruitful have scattered because of infidelity and women attach so much importance to this quality in their men.
· Funny: Women like funny men. You always hear most ladies say, “ Oh That guy is so funny, I love him”. Women like men who will put smiles on their faces at all time. If your woman must like you, then you must try to make her happy always.
· Security: Women like men that can give them security. A woman will always love a man she knows she is secured in his arms. A woman will always want her position in your life to be secured and guaranteed.
· Humility: It’s a woman’s desire to see her man humble. She feels proud when her man is down to earth, not pompous.

The list of what women want in their men is inexhaustible, but I very much think that these few points narrated above will always give you an excellent mark before your woman.

CAUSES OF DIVORCE IN MARRIAGES

Divorce is one social ill that has befallen the world today. The holy bible detests divorce. The society itself abhors divorce with passion but still every day that passes by marriages fail. Most marriages today are being patched and if care is not taken divorce will still set in. Divorce is always very common in American and European countries as opposed to some countries in Africa. Divorce has a lot evil trends it leaves behind any time it occurs. In some cases children born to such marriages feel deprived of either motherly care or fatherly care. There are many different causes and reasons for divorce, each of them specific to that particular couple’s marital relationship, their individual experiences and personal problems. In general, all the divorce experienced in the world today is as a result of one of the following:
· Immaturity: These days you see a lot of ladies jumping into marriage because of money at a very tender age. When one life challenge or the other comes, the marriage crashes because the lady jumped into marriage at an unripe age when she virtually knows nothing about marriage and life experiences and challenges.
· Infidelity: This has been one of the major causes of divorce. Most marriages have crashed as a result of this. Either the man found out that his wife is cheating on him or the other way round. Only few people can find out about their spouses infidelity and still go on with the marriage.
· Abandonment: Marriage is a union and a union is always between two people. When one of the couple starts feeling that his or her spouse is abandoning him or her, the notion is that another person is taking his or her attention. If not properly checked at this stage, divorce results.
· Lack of Communication: Communication is very important in a relationship. The man for instance should make sure the wife knows what he is doing at all times, where he is going, what he does, his plans etc, on the other hand the wife should not have any secret. When any of the parties starts feeling that there are some things they don’t know, insecurity sets in and if not checked divorce ensues.
· Physical Abuse: Most men turn their wives into punching bags. This is not good as your wife is supposed to be your best friend. Many women endure this and try to patch up their marriage especially in the African countries, but its not so in most developed countries like America. This is another point that causes over 50% of divorce cases today.
· Drug and Alcohol Abuse: Most marriages today have failed because of alcohol and drug abuse. Many ladies enter into marriages without knowing the men they are getting married to until they are in the marriage. When this later unfolds such marriages collapse.
· Ego Problem: Some women are richer than their husbands. Some are more influential because of their positions in society. Due to this, such women don’t like being under their husbands and the man in the bid to show his ego, as the man of the house will not take it. If this tussle is not managed well, such marriage will collapse.
· Sexual Abuse: Most men turn their wives to sex machine. No respect for the woman and her desires. Some men see sexual intercourse as food and will not want to care about their wives feeling and reaction. This has destroyed a lot of marriages.
· Joblessness: Most marriages have crashed because the man could not perform his duties of taking care of the family due to unemployment. Some ladies cannot stand living with a man who cannot provide for her.
· Lust: What most people today call love at first site is lust. You see a woman the first day, you conclude you love her and before one says jack both of you are at the alter exchanging marriage vows. When the truth unfolds, the marriage crashes and people say they fell out of love. It is lust.
· Cultural and Religious Differences: Most people marry people from diverse cultural backgrounds. There have been several cases where most Africans marry Europeans or American citizens only to find out later that they cannot cope with the cultural or religious differences. For peace to reign they go their separate ways (divorce).
· Crime: Most marriages crash as a result of one partner getting involved in crime. People with very good moral background cannot take it to continue living with a man or woman who is arrested and probably imprisoned for crime.
· Incompatibility: If the man and woman are not compatible, there is every reason that the marriage will not succeed. They may be sexually, physically, spiritually or morally incompatible.
· Family Background: The truth is that family background has a lot of influence on people. If your parents divorced, watch it you need to work on your self, otherwise there is every likelihood that you will also divorce.
· Failed Expectations: This is another major reason why many marriages fail. People enter into marriage with a lot of expectations. If these expectations are not met or cut short, it leads to divorce.

The list of reasons why marriages fail or why couples divorce can go on and on. But a lot of researches and real life experiences dance around these points enumerated above.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

TEN TYPES OF MEN YOU MEET IN LIFE

Life they say is a stage. It’s like a play or role-play that is shown in movies. We all are actors in the stage of life movie. We come in at any particular time, play our different roles an exit when the light is off. That is life and living for us all. In the movie and play of life, we meet different types of men at all times. The type of men you meet and mingle with decides the type of life you live or how well you live your life on earth. We are going to see different types of men that we can meet while on this journey of life. The list of types of men we meet as captured by this write up is not exhaustive, but will capture to a large extent different types of men that we meet while running the race of life.
(a) Those who add value to our lives: Some men we meet add value to our lives. They are men with good virtues, good home upbringing, and highly disciplined people. When you come in contact with such people, your life sees light and automatically you add value to your life and living makes sense to you. They are the type of men that make you realize your dreams in a positive way without soiling your hands or delving into immorality and evil lifestyle.
(b) Those who subtract from your life: This group of men are not ready to and will never add anything good to your life. They are parasites and chronic ones at that. You find them around you because they believe there is something they will gain from you. They are the “What do you have for us” type of friends. You are their friends because you are always there for them when any need arises. Once you are not ready and able to assist them in anything that ends your relationship with them.
(c) Those who leave you the way they meet you: This group is yet another type of men with meet in this life race. They come into your life, play with you, move around with you and they don’t subtract or add anything good or bad to your life. They are there for the sake of just being there. They don’t make any impact in your life when they are there or not it makes no difference.
(d) Those who waste you: This group is almost like those who subtract from your life, but the difference here is that their impact on your life is more deadly than those who subtract from your life. They are known to waste your time, your resources, your talent, your abilities, your competencies, your skills and your person as well. These types of men do not come into your life with any good intention. From the onset, they have made up their minds that they are coming into your life to reduce you to nothing and until they actualize that they won’t leave.
(e) Those who love you genuinely: Here we find men who love you with all their heart. They meet you, like you, like your type of person, like the type of work you do and like everything about you. These types of men will go out of their ways to make you succeed in life. They are happy when you are happy, sad when you are sad, rejoice when you do and take you to the innermost part of their hearts. They are your real friends. You may not know these kinds of men when things are going well for you. There are some of your friends today that you may think are in this group, but try and fake hard times and rough times and watch how many real friends you actually have.
(f) Those who love what you have and not you: This is yet another group of men we find in our lives. This group loves you because of what they see around you. They love you because of your possessions, your abilities, your intelligence etc. These qualities are what attract them to you and not your personality. They love you for what you have, what you are and not who you are. This type of men leave you when they can’t find those things that attracted them to you in the first place.
(g) Those who exploit you: Just like those who subtract from you and those who waste you and your resources, this group are your friends or get attached to you because they want to exploit you.
(h) Those who bless you: This includes those who become blessing to you once they come into your life. Your association or relationship with them leads to your being blessed. People in this group include spiritual friends that pray for you at their quite time. Those who protect your interest even when you are not there. Your pastors also come into this group. They are always blessing you and praying for your good and interceding on your behalf even when you are not with them. Aside from prayers, men in this group can bless you with their finances, their goodwill and material things.
(i) Those who kill you: These types of men are those who come into your life and kill you. Some men may waste your life, exploit you and subtract from you, but still leave you alive. But these men have the sole aim to destroy you and leave you dead. When one intentionally shuts your source of livelihood, he has already killed you, if he has his way with a gun, he will shoot you to death. Some go all out to hire assassins to kill you if they cant do it by themselves. This is true and such is life.
(j) Those who push your away from God, your destiny , your dreams and your life desires: This last set of men are their to destroy you. They will do everything to push away from your divine purpose in life by making you to be far from your creator. They make you to forego your goals in life. They stop you and discourage you from following your dreams and your heart desires.

Friday, January 23, 2009

CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY

These days many men and women engage in pre-marital sex and a lot of sexual immoralities. The bible clearly states that we should not commit fornication, adultery or any other sexually immoral activities. Even with all these warnings, men and women of this jet age engage in pre-marital sex as if it’s as simple as drinking water or eating food. This social ill has wasted a lot of youths and matured people today. Most young men have had their dreams shattered, denied and diverted because of this sexual immorality. In this write up I have carefully identified and explained the consequences of engaging in pre-marital sex as well as sexual immorality in general.
(a) Death: The wages of sin is death. The bible clearly states that fornication is sin and adultery also is sin and the wages of indulging in such acts is death. Many youths and adults engage in it and are not immediately punished because of the mercy and grace of God. That does not mean that if they don’t stop they will not die. Many youths contract sexually transmitted diseases through sex and death results.
(b) Feeling of guilt: When you are involved in sexual immorality or premarital sex, you feel guilty. Yes you do it because you want to satisfy your emotional desire, but in your heart you are filled with guilt for committing fornication or adultery and that will always hunt you.
(c) Waste of Time: Every time put into premarital sex or sexual immorality is a time wasted. You waste your time; waste your energy and your blood engaging in sinful acts.
(d) Diminished effectiveness: Most youths waste their youthful life engaging in premarital sex and this diminishes their performance and effectiveness in being active in sex when the right time comes, (during marriage). For married men and women, when the engage in sexual immorality (adultery) it weakens the performances with their spouses.
(e) Abortion: Pre marital sex leads to unwanted pregnancy. Unwanted pregnancy leads to abortion. This is what I call double barrel sin. You commit sin of fornication or adultery, then that leads to the sin of murder (abortion).
(f) Disobedience to God’s word: The word of God says; do not commit fornication or adultery. The word of God says do not kill or lie. When you get involved in sexual immorality, it leads to disobedience to Gods word by lying, committing fornication and adultery as well as carrying out an abortion (murder).
(g) Fragmented Future: Most men and women have their dreams aborted, future fragmented and plans shattered simply because of a few minutes of sexual immorality. Take an example of a young promising lady who gets pregnant in her parents house, as a result her parents disowns her and throws her out of the house. Her future becomes fragmented and shattered.
(h) Damage to ones womb: Most married women today cant get pregnant not to talk of having a baby because of damage done to their wombs when they were involved in sexual immorality that led to an unwanted pregnant which in turn resulted in an abortion that damaged their wombs.
(i) Sin against your own body: The bible says that our body is the temple of the living God and when one gets involved in fornication or abortion, you are sinning against your body, which is the temple of God.
(j) Bad marital foundation: Most youths of today cannot count the number of boys or girls they had sexual intercourse with before marriage. This trend causes a lot of problem after marriage as they start comparing their spouse’s sexual performances with those immoral sexual hawkers they mingled with before marriage. This is why most men still go outside their marital homes to engage in sex. It also accounts for why some married women go outside to satisfy their devilish sexual urges.
(k) Breeding of Bastards: A lot of youths today are living without both parents. These youths are products of illicit sexual relationships that were not meant to be. Young men and women these days keep on giving birth to bastards as if it is a normal thing.
(l) Damage to reproductive organs: There are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases today. Most men have lost their man hood and ability to impregnate their wives because of sexually transmitted diseases that have destroyed their sexual organs.
(m) Wrong Marriage: Many women today have ended up marrying the wrong person because they got pregnant and were forced by their parents to get married to the man to avoid disgrace and bringing shame to their families.
(n) Leads to Polygamy: Some men are married to more than one wife today because they can’t hold their sexual urges. They are forced to marry more than one wife because of impregnating another women outside their matrimonial homes.
(o) Prostitution: Many young ladies today are into sex hawking because of their involvement in sexual immorality. This graduated them to sex hawkers and this has destroyed many ladies today

WHY MEN DIE YOUNG

In the beginning God created man to take control and rule over every other living creature in the land, water, air and beyond. Later on God found out that man needed a helper or in other words some one who can assist him in his daily activities, then made He woman from the rib of man. Gen.2: 18 ‘And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.’ Man was created with so much power and authority. Man was created in God’s own image, that is to say that man is a demy-god. In Gods original plan, man was created to live like God without dieing as stated in Psalm 118:17 ‘I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.’ Man was not supposed to die. Even if man were to die, man was supposed to live long and die at a very ripe age. Psalm 91: 16 says “With long life will I satisfy him, and show him my salvation.” Exactly that was Gods original design and plan for man. His (God) plan was for men to inhabit the earth, plant it, take care of the livestock freely given to him, and live life to the fullest. (Isaiah 65:21-25). If God had all these good plans for us, why then do men die young? This write up is going to take an indebt look at several reasons why men die young despite God’s plan for us to live long and happily too. These reasons are treated here with Human understanding and with references to some biblical portions that will help clarify these points.

(a) Generational Curses: God cursed Man after the fall of man. Man sinned against God by eating the forbidden fruit and as a result God cursed man in Gen. 3:17-19(And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shall not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shall thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shall eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shall thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shall thou return). Because of this generational curse, men die before their time because of sins of their forefathers. In Ezekiel 18:2 it states that the father has eaten sour grapes and the children teeth set on edge. It is not surprising then why men die today as a result of sins of their fathers.
(b) Curses from Women: These days it’s common to see boys and girls engaging in premarital sex without knowing what they are going into. A lot of men promise marriage to most ladies just to have access in between their legs and once they have them they start singing another song. Most men today are suffering from curses placed on them by women they had flings with. When you use a woman and dump her and she tells you, it will never be well with you, you will suffer, God will punish you etc. Such curses go a long way in affecting men and a lot of men have ended up frustrated in life and eventually died as a result of such curses. Many men will still have shattered dreams and die untimely too as a result of this. The truth is that when you make love with a woman, you have a hidden covenant with her, which makes those curses work faster.
(c) Demonic Covenants: Like I said above when you make love to a woman, you have a hidden covenant with her. Most men cannot live without having sex; some go to the extent of carrying strange women in the street to satisfy their sexual urges. Most of these ladies have demons controlling them and in most cases their aim is to destroy men and steal their glories. Many men die and will still die as a result of entering into unknown demonic covenants with agents of darkness who are out to destroy men.
(d) Wrong Marriage: Marriage is an institution ordained in heaven. The bible says a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife and both of them shall become one. When you get married to a woman, she becomes the same person with you. The woman you marry can build you up or kill you untimely. The worst thing that can happen to a man is to marry the wrong woman. There are no two ways about it, if you marry the wrong woman; it’s only the grace of God that can save you from untimely death. Imagine what happens to you when you marry a wife that you beat every time, and she keeps on cursing you? That is a sure way to the gate of death.
(e) Wrong Friends: Some men are born with golden spoons in their mouths. Some are born from very good homes with good moral upbringing, but bad friends influence and lead them to their untimely deaths. Go to our universities today, most of the young men killed in cult wars are always from good homes, but they are always influenced by bad friends to join cults. Most armed robbers killed today were not into it because of hunger but peer influences and they end up loosing their lives carelessly.
(f) Greed and Covetousness: Greed is another thing that kills men like wild fire. You do business with your friend; he becomes greedy and wants to take all the profit alone. Many men have died because of greed and covetousness. Love of money has destroyed many men ,no wonder the bible says the love of money is the root of all evil.
(g) Breaking Gods covenant and living without God: Breaking Gods covenant is another main point that kills men fast. God for sure is a patient God, merciful and kind, but if you break Gods covenant or start serving other gods, it is an express way to untimely death as one is exposed to the devil. Joshua 24:20 says, “If ye forsake the LORD, and serve strange gods, then he will turn and do you hurt, and consume you, after that he hath done you good.”
(h) Stress: Men are always exposed to too much stress. Men are always thinking of their families, job, home, investment, career, marriage, business, etc. Inability to manage the pressure from these quarters and calm the storm of life by handling your life pressures normally lead to most men dieing young.
(i) Unhealthy Living: Most men don’t eat well; when they eat they eat unbalanced diet. Some times you see some men drinking from morning to night without eating any tangible food. Most working class men due to work pressure don’t have time to go for lunch and may go back home without having their lunch. The truth is that breakfast, lunch or dinner each has a role to play in our systems. Most men also do not rest well or even sleep well because of stress or work pressure. The truth of the matter is that men who don’t eat well, rest well and sleep well are likely to die young.
(j) Prosperity Seeking in an ungodly way: In the present world where young men want to get rich quick, most young men enter into occultism and exchange their lives for money. Many men today are just interested in making money and getting rich without minding how the money is made and the consequences of making the quick money, which is untimely or sudden death.
(k) Ignorance: Ignorance they say is the worst disease that kills as fast as any thing you can think of. Most men are dieing today because they are ignorant of these facts and points discussed here. The truth is that most men will still die carelessly and young if they do not embrace these simple but plain truth about why men die young.
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