Men are the heads of the home and in most cases the bread winners of their homes. It is only one who is healthy that can think of what to do and how to provide for his family. Therefore it is very essential for men to be careful with their health. Health they say is wealth. When you are healthy, you may not know the grace you are enjoying as a human being. A lot of wealthy men today are suffering from bad health and can do everything humanly possible to live healthy. But in the contrary money may not actually buy health. Money may buy you drugs, but it cannot buy you good health. Most men today are suffering from ailments they carelessly aloud to come to them as a result of reckless living. Food is good and very necessary and essential for healthy living, but you must eat the right type of food and in the right proportion to stay healthy. In this article I am going to discuss on the general health of men, the silent killers or ailments that affect men and women alike as well as some healthy tips to help us stay healthy and enjoy our living as men.
The Silent Killers: There a many ailments in this category that kills silently and slowly. For this article, am going to talk briefly on Hypertension, Obesity and Diabetes. Hypertension is always as a result of high blood pressure. One s said to be suffering from hypertension when he is constantly having his blood pressure on the high side. A normal blood pressure should be about 120/80 (120 the systolic, 80 the diastolic, your doctor can explain more on this to you). When your blood pressure is persistently equal to or greater than 140/90, your blood pressure is high (hypertension). One mistake many men make is to think that hypertension is only for old or aging people, this is wrong as it can happen to both young and old. Causes of hypertension include; stress, anxiety, excessive drinking of alcohol and excessive smoking. Hypertension destroys the heart, kidney, and blood cells. It also can lead to stroke, affects ones vision and can lead to untimely death. The opposite of hypertension is hypotension. The later occurs when your blood pressure is low. There are not many cases of the later, but it is always more severe than the former when it occurs.
Obesity can be caused by excess accumulation of body fats in ones system. Obesity affects the blood circulation in the system. These accumulated fats cover and block the artery that helps in blood circulation in the body. Reduction in the rate of blood circulation is mainly the danger of obesity. When this occurs, it can lead to hypertension. There are several ways to calculate obesity, but the most commonly used is the BMI (Body mass Index). If your BMI is between 19 and 24 one is okay. If your BMI is between 25 and 30 you are over weight. If your BMI is above 30 then you are obese. Your doctor can also help you to calculate your BMI. Another popular way is by use of machines that tell you exactly how over weight or not you are. We as men need to check the type of diets we take to avoid accumulating excess fats in our system which can cause obesity. This is because the more obese you are, the more chances of increase in your medical problems. Obesity in some cases is genetic, but most times it is as a result of bad dietary habits.
Diabetes occurs when there is excess sugar in somebody’s system. The common symptoms of diabetes include weight loss, dizziness, tiredness, excessive thirst, frequent urination and blurred vision. Like the other silent killers, diabetes has some complications which include; causing wounds not to heal fast, erectile dysfunction; it can also lead to stroke coma and untimely death.
Having identified these silent killers, how then do we avoid them and live healthy and longer?
• Go for regular check up: It is very essential to go for regular check especially as we advance in age. Check you blood pressure intermittently ,blood sugar, cholesterol level, blood count etc
• Keep good hygiene.
• Good dieting: Mix your food. Note that different foods have different nutrients that our body needs to grow and stay healthy. Eat balanced and varied diet. Remember your energy needs decreases as your age increases. Make sure you take your complete balanced diet, don’t skip meals but don’t over eat. For your breakfast, lunch and dinner make sure you combine the different groups of food in your meals. We have the energy giving foods( starch and carbohydrates ) ,Protein foods ( plant and animal protein) ,Vegetable foods( green vegetables and other vegetables that are not green) ,Fruits ,Fat and Oil. Try as much as possible to reduce your fat intake to the barest minimum. As much as you can reduce the intake of fried foods because they contain lots of fat. Try to take at least one type of fruit after or before every meal. Potassium from out fruits helps the heart muscles to function well. Fruits also contain antioxidants which protects our body from bacteria.
Summary:
Healthy living is of paramount importance to all men. I know as a man you will like to live longer and take care of your family. In summary to stay healthy and live healthy you have to;
• Eat the right food and the right proportion.
• Choose and eat food that contains more of vegetables.
• Reduce intake of fatty foods as it increases the calories in your system.
• Don’t eat heavily especially at night.
• Meat and egg are good, but as an adult you are not supposed to take more than 3 eggs in a week and not more than two pieces of meat per meal.
• Sea foods contain a lot of cholesterol which builds fat, reduce its intake.
• Choose diet moderate in sugar. Reduce your sugar intake to the barest minimum.
• Reduce intake of soft drinks, ice cream, etc these excess sugar from them later turn to fat.
• For your sugar needs, honey is preferable.
• Choose a diet moderate in salt and sodium.
• Take little of processed food.
• Reduce your intake of alcohol and cigarette, but it is advisable to STOP entirely.
• Avoid stress and anxiety as much as you can.
• Fruits and vegetables are very essential and should be taken on daily basis.
• Take enough water. Helps keep your blood pressure normal and remove toxic from your body. At least three liters of water a day is recommended.
• Exercise your body. A physical exercise helps your blood to pump well.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
TRIALS OF LIFE IS NORMAL
Life trials and ups and downs are normal and must be experienced by men in one time or the other. The difference is that some experience hard times and trying times earlier in their life time while others may experience it later on in life, but it must surely come. The irony of life is that it is only the text fire that can make fine steel. There are no short cuts to success except hard work.
Trials of life can be seen during hard times and unhappy experiences. It can manifest in such ways as marital problems, child birth issues (in ability to bear children), unemployment, business down turn, failures in academics, financial hardship etc. The truth is that these things must be experienced by all men in one stage in life or the other. The ability to handle any of these hardships is what determines how well one can come out of it. Life is not a bed of roses therefore there must be challenges to be faced in each phase of life.
As a child or a boy, you have your academics to face, you have to read, practice and take your examinations to be successful and come out in flying colours.
People are created with different destinies. That examination that was taken once and made by one may take another many years of hard work to get done. Because one took an exam once and passes it does not mean that he will be more successful in life than one who took the same exam many times before he could pass it. That you got an admission into the University before your mates does not guarantee that you will graduate before them or better still come out with a better result than them. I don’t know if am making a point here? Some can graduate from school and get employed immediately while others will graduate and after five years of graduation, they are still looking for job. That is the truth about life.
When you grow up to become a man the real challenges of life start manifesting. You have to get married, you have to bear children, and you have to take care of your old parents, your wife, your children as well as other extended relations. Yes this is your responsibility as a man. In most cases these responsibilities are either not achieved immediately or delayed indefinitely by the trials of life.
Every one has a hand in deciding how he wants his life to be run. There is this popular saying which states that “there is no way you can remove sand from a child’s eye without him putting his own hand”. If you want to succeed in life, you must work hard; you must put in extra ordinary pressure.
Life problems and trials must come in one stage or the other, but we will be able to handle and get over it if we have the will power. Most men have died during these trial periods because they lack the right attitude towards handling such periods or they are not well informed of the truth of life. Many marriages also have scattered during trial periods too.
Some trial periods come during old age. You see successful men who were very successful in their marriages, careers, and life generally having trial time at old age when they think they have successfully lived their lives. This trial time may come from the attitudes of their children.
One thing we have to know is that God promises us of peace, but not smooth sailing or total immunity from life’s struggles.
Trials of life can be man made or designed by God almighty. Summarily trials of life can come as a result of the following;
• Caused by the individual: One can go through trials of life as a result of his ignorance or way of life. The truth is that if you don’t work hard you will not make it and you are bound to go through hard times. If you are a sinner, you are bound to experience hardship. It may be going well with you at the moment, but the truth is that the evil that men do live with them and after them too.
• Caused by others: Some people are naturally wicked and they don’t feel happy when others are happy. In this case, they do everything humanly possible to drag you down to their level. Many bear false witness against their friends just to pull them down to their level. At this time such people experience their own trial times.
• Sins of our ancestors; the bible says that the fathers ate sour grape and the children teeth set on edge. Most trails people are going through today are as a result of sins of their fathers or ancestors.
• Evil associations: evil associations corrupt good manners. Some men delve into what they could not have done as a result of evil associations and they pay for it by experiencing hard times and trial times in future.
• Immoralities; A lot of trials of life are as a result of immoral life styles engaged by men when they were young, adults or even at old age. Bible clearly states that the wages of sin is death. These trial times if not well managed and resolved leads to untimely death.
• God may use it to test the faith of believers: Job in the bible was a very good Christian, yet he went through hard and trial times. He lost all he had and struggled for in life. Trials of life increases or decreases our faith in God. Most people are great men today because they did not fail under pressure.
Summary: Trials of life is normal. It may come as a result of our own making, the making of others or divinely ordained by God to test our faith in Him. If our faith is not tested, we would not be motivated to find solutions to our problems. What ever the cause of the trials you are going through today, believe in God, have faith in Him and he must surely see you through and out of it. Yes it is easy to worship and praise God when all is well with you, or when things are moving fine for you. When you are alive, healthy, happily married, have male and female children, have good job, pay your bills with ease etc. But when light suddenly goes off and we don’t enjoy the goodness of life again, that is the right time to test our faith and who we actually trust in.
Dear brother no matter what you are going through today, believe, have faith in God, though it may tarry, but surely you will get through and over it and your joy will surely return. It is just for a while. You are just passing through what is called a trail period in your lifetime, it is normal my dear. Once again remember, that thing you are going through today has been faced by some one, somewhere in the past, and he went through and over it and came out successful. You will get over it with God. Remain blessed.
Trials of life can be seen during hard times and unhappy experiences. It can manifest in such ways as marital problems, child birth issues (in ability to bear children), unemployment, business down turn, failures in academics, financial hardship etc. The truth is that these things must be experienced by all men in one stage in life or the other. The ability to handle any of these hardships is what determines how well one can come out of it. Life is not a bed of roses therefore there must be challenges to be faced in each phase of life.
As a child or a boy, you have your academics to face, you have to read, practice and take your examinations to be successful and come out in flying colours.
People are created with different destinies. That examination that was taken once and made by one may take another many years of hard work to get done. Because one took an exam once and passes it does not mean that he will be more successful in life than one who took the same exam many times before he could pass it. That you got an admission into the University before your mates does not guarantee that you will graduate before them or better still come out with a better result than them. I don’t know if am making a point here? Some can graduate from school and get employed immediately while others will graduate and after five years of graduation, they are still looking for job. That is the truth about life.
When you grow up to become a man the real challenges of life start manifesting. You have to get married, you have to bear children, and you have to take care of your old parents, your wife, your children as well as other extended relations. Yes this is your responsibility as a man. In most cases these responsibilities are either not achieved immediately or delayed indefinitely by the trials of life.
Every one has a hand in deciding how he wants his life to be run. There is this popular saying which states that “there is no way you can remove sand from a child’s eye without him putting his own hand”. If you want to succeed in life, you must work hard; you must put in extra ordinary pressure.
Life problems and trials must come in one stage or the other, but we will be able to handle and get over it if we have the will power. Most men have died during these trial periods because they lack the right attitude towards handling such periods or they are not well informed of the truth of life. Many marriages also have scattered during trial periods too.
Some trial periods come during old age. You see successful men who were very successful in their marriages, careers, and life generally having trial time at old age when they think they have successfully lived their lives. This trial time may come from the attitudes of their children.
One thing we have to know is that God promises us of peace, but not smooth sailing or total immunity from life’s struggles.
Trials of life can be man made or designed by God almighty. Summarily trials of life can come as a result of the following;
• Caused by the individual: One can go through trials of life as a result of his ignorance or way of life. The truth is that if you don’t work hard you will not make it and you are bound to go through hard times. If you are a sinner, you are bound to experience hardship. It may be going well with you at the moment, but the truth is that the evil that men do live with them and after them too.
• Caused by others: Some people are naturally wicked and they don’t feel happy when others are happy. In this case, they do everything humanly possible to drag you down to their level. Many bear false witness against their friends just to pull them down to their level. At this time such people experience their own trial times.
• Sins of our ancestors; the bible says that the fathers ate sour grape and the children teeth set on edge. Most trails people are going through today are as a result of sins of their fathers or ancestors.
• Evil associations: evil associations corrupt good manners. Some men delve into what they could not have done as a result of evil associations and they pay for it by experiencing hard times and trial times in future.
• Immoralities; A lot of trials of life are as a result of immoral life styles engaged by men when they were young, adults or even at old age. Bible clearly states that the wages of sin is death. These trial times if not well managed and resolved leads to untimely death.
• God may use it to test the faith of believers: Job in the bible was a very good Christian, yet he went through hard and trial times. He lost all he had and struggled for in life. Trials of life increases or decreases our faith in God. Most people are great men today because they did not fail under pressure.
Summary: Trials of life is normal. It may come as a result of our own making, the making of others or divinely ordained by God to test our faith in Him. If our faith is not tested, we would not be motivated to find solutions to our problems. What ever the cause of the trials you are going through today, believe in God, have faith in Him and he must surely see you through and out of it. Yes it is easy to worship and praise God when all is well with you, or when things are moving fine for you. When you are alive, healthy, happily married, have male and female children, have good job, pay your bills with ease etc. But when light suddenly goes off and we don’t enjoy the goodness of life again, that is the right time to test our faith and who we actually trust in.
Dear brother no matter what you are going through today, believe, have faith in God, though it may tarry, but surely you will get through and over it and your joy will surely return. It is just for a while. You are just passing through what is called a trail period in your lifetime, it is normal my dear. Once again remember, that thing you are going through today has been faced by some one, somewhere in the past, and he went through and over it and came out successful. You will get over it with God. Remain blessed.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
WHEN THE CORPSE STARTS SMELLING
There is this saying that when the corpse starts smelling, even the best friend runs away. This write up is a true life story that will teach most men about the realities of life and help them plan how to live their lives. When you have money, friends, brothers and peers will like to associate with you. People you don’t even know will trace you to your house, office or business site to tell you how your great grand father is related to their great grand mother from your maternal home. Some will tell you that they are related to your uncle that was born by your father’s great grand mother. You will hear different kinds of stories, everything boils down to making you know that you are related in one way or the other in order for them to get close to you. But when you don’t have anything, no body remembers you, and you are on your own, even your best friends will abandon you. That is true.
This young man Zidy was born in the mid seventies to an average family of civil servant parents. His parents managed to put him and his other siblings through the university. It was not an easy task seeing him and his brothers and sisters through the university as both parents retired when only their first child was out of the higher institution. Their parents went through thick and thin to see all of them through the university. It was in this kind of background that Zidy went through before he could be called a graduate.
When Zidy got admission into the university, he made up his mind that he was going to be successful in life. While in the university there were a lot of peer pressures to drag him into cultism, but he religiously rebuffed the entire attempt to initiate him into the campus cultism because of the kind of parental upbringing he had. His father was a disciplinarian to the core. He made up his mind that he wanted to come out with a very good result as this would help him get a good job after school.
After hard work and dedication to his studies, denying himself of all youthful pleasures in school, his efforts were rewarded with success as he came out the best graduating student in the school of business administration where he finished from.
After his compulsory youth service as required by the Nigerian government he came to Lagos in search of job opportunities. He was blessed with a good job and he started earning income. Low and behold his house became the meeting point of his people, relations and friends. Come there every weekend people keep on trooping in and out of his house. There were always enough to eat and to drink as Zidy is actually a very generous man. A lot of his relations were coming to him for one assistance or the other and he kept on solving their problems even at the mercy of his own immediate needs. He helped most of them to secure profitable employment in his place of work and other places. At that time he was liked by all and spoken well of by all.
On this fateful day, the story changed as he lost his job in a very unfortunate and pitiable way. One of his close relations, infarct his brother from the same village went to his employer and lied against him and his appointment was terminated as a result of that false allegation. The most deplorable of it all was that he was a benefactor to this same brother that lied against him.
When Zidy lost his job, some of his close friends called him and encouraged him to take it easy. There were a lot of promises of assistance in one way or the other. But all those promises were not to be kept. His best friend (as he thought) promised to be giving him a particular sum of money every month until he secures another job to assist him ease of the burden of unemployment. The first month passed and the story changed. This so called best friend does not even pick up his calls not to talk of replying his text messages when he sends any. His house that used to be a converging point for all became as quite as a grave yard. Even those he risked his own needs to assist in the past abandoned him in his most trying period. Life became so hard and harsh for him and his young family.
He was left with no option than to give his life to Christ. He started worshiping with a church that prays powerfully and since then his life has known meaning. Though he has not got another job, but he is very sure that God who started the good work in him will follow it up to its fruitful completion. God has been providing all his needs and has been taking care of his wife and children. People who see him wonder how he is surviving, but the truth is that it is by the grace of God almighty. The lessons to learn from this story are as follows;
• It pays to serve Jesus.
• Do not have trust in any man.
• Do not build your treasure here on earth as one day this world will pass away.
• Trust no body even the person you call your best friend because he is your friend only when there is money and things are moving well with you.
• Put your trust in God because “WHEN THE CORPSE STARTS SMELLING, EVEN YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL RUN AWAY”. It’s only God that can stand by you to turn your situation around.
This young man Zidy was born in the mid seventies to an average family of civil servant parents. His parents managed to put him and his other siblings through the university. It was not an easy task seeing him and his brothers and sisters through the university as both parents retired when only their first child was out of the higher institution. Their parents went through thick and thin to see all of them through the university. It was in this kind of background that Zidy went through before he could be called a graduate.
When Zidy got admission into the university, he made up his mind that he was going to be successful in life. While in the university there were a lot of peer pressures to drag him into cultism, but he religiously rebuffed the entire attempt to initiate him into the campus cultism because of the kind of parental upbringing he had. His father was a disciplinarian to the core. He made up his mind that he wanted to come out with a very good result as this would help him get a good job after school.
After hard work and dedication to his studies, denying himself of all youthful pleasures in school, his efforts were rewarded with success as he came out the best graduating student in the school of business administration where he finished from.
After his compulsory youth service as required by the Nigerian government he came to Lagos in search of job opportunities. He was blessed with a good job and he started earning income. Low and behold his house became the meeting point of his people, relations and friends. Come there every weekend people keep on trooping in and out of his house. There were always enough to eat and to drink as Zidy is actually a very generous man. A lot of his relations were coming to him for one assistance or the other and he kept on solving their problems even at the mercy of his own immediate needs. He helped most of them to secure profitable employment in his place of work and other places. At that time he was liked by all and spoken well of by all.
On this fateful day, the story changed as he lost his job in a very unfortunate and pitiable way. One of his close relations, infarct his brother from the same village went to his employer and lied against him and his appointment was terminated as a result of that false allegation. The most deplorable of it all was that he was a benefactor to this same brother that lied against him.
When Zidy lost his job, some of his close friends called him and encouraged him to take it easy. There were a lot of promises of assistance in one way or the other. But all those promises were not to be kept. His best friend (as he thought) promised to be giving him a particular sum of money every month until he secures another job to assist him ease of the burden of unemployment. The first month passed and the story changed. This so called best friend does not even pick up his calls not to talk of replying his text messages when he sends any. His house that used to be a converging point for all became as quite as a grave yard. Even those he risked his own needs to assist in the past abandoned him in his most trying period. Life became so hard and harsh for him and his young family.
He was left with no option than to give his life to Christ. He started worshiping with a church that prays powerfully and since then his life has known meaning. Though he has not got another job, but he is very sure that God who started the good work in him will follow it up to its fruitful completion. God has been providing all his needs and has been taking care of his wife and children. People who see him wonder how he is surviving, but the truth is that it is by the grace of God almighty. The lessons to learn from this story are as follows;
• It pays to serve Jesus.
• Do not have trust in any man.
• Do not build your treasure here on earth as one day this world will pass away.
• Trust no body even the person you call your best friend because he is your friend only when there is money and things are moving well with you.
• Put your trust in God because “WHEN THE CORPSE STARTS SMELLING, EVEN YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL RUN AWAY”. It’s only God that can stand by you to turn your situation around.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
SEX DURING DATING AND MARRIAGE
In this article when I talk about sex I mean the intercourse between a man and a woman. The world today has gone so crazy that sexual intercourse is no more honourable and respected as should have been the case. In the more developed countries the level of sexual immoralities is so high that it is really giving cause for concern. I don’t think that there is any religion that supports pre-marital sex, extra marital sex or any form of sexual immorality. When God created the world, He made the first man and woman and kept them in a beautiful garden to keep and maintain it. He also implored them to multiply and fill the world. Sexual intercourse according to Gods original plan is supposed to be a means of procreation. But today what do we find in the world; teenagers, youths, and adolescents engaging in premarital sex without fear of the consequences.
I don’t want to start discussing at length the extent of sexual abuse and immoralities among out teenagers today because this article is meant for men and matured minds. In this regard, we will be discussing about sex during dating and sex in marriage.
Sex during dating: Call it dating, courtship, friendship, relationship, affair, etc you are right because these words are talking about association between two, mostly male and female. Is sexual intercourse during courtship, friendship or relationship outside marriage right? In a concise and straight forward answer, No. The bible says do not fornicate. In 1st Corinthians 6: 18 the bible says “Run away from sexual immoralities, No other sin affects the body as this one does. For sexual sin is a sin against your own body.” Any sexual affair between unmarried people is fornication. Call it what ever name you may wish to give it, the truth is that if she is not your wife ,my guy you are a fornicator and fornication is sin and not pure before humanity and God. On the other hand the woman that is giving in to a man who is not married to her also is a fornicator. Most men today say they can’t marry a woman whom they are not sure can satisfy them in bed, thus reason for having sexual intercourse with her before marriage. Some say we are courting and we need to know everything about each other to be sure we are compatible. I am not against men getting married to women they are compatible with, but sex is not all that makes a marriage to work after all, you are not getting married to her because of sex alone. Or do you intend to turn her to a sex machine after marriage? Most young ladies have messed up their destinies and future because of the word courting. You give in to a man and he makes love to you, after he tells you, am sorry we are not compatible; I can’t marry you. Meanwhile he has messed up your womanhood and pride as a woman. Remember it is not only that he has messed up your womanhood, he has also led you to sin (fornication) before God.
Extra Marital Sex: This is another common sin that is committed by men and women on daily basis. Bible says its better we abstain from sexual intercourse, but where we cannot, we should get married. It is very common today to see married men and women going outside their matrimonial homes to engage in sexual intercourse with strange men or women. The society abhors this and bible calls it sin (adultery). When you are married and you still go outside your matrimonial home to have sexual intercourse with another man or woman, you are an adulterer. Another common one these days is the case of married men having sexual relationships with young and unmarried ladies. She calls you her sugar daddy or Aristo and you are happy. In this case the man is an adulterer while the young lady is a fornicator and neither the society nor God condones this. On another hand you see married women dating young boys who are young enough to be their sons and are happy to talk about it openly. She calls her self sugar mummy and the young man her Gigolo. I pity the young man who does that because he is inviting the rage of God to himself. Proverbs 6 verse 27 to 29 says “Can a man scoop fire into his lap and not be burned? Can he walk on hot coal and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished.”
Sex in Marriage: God ordained marriage and is totally in support of the marriage institution. Like I said earlier, God created man and woman and gave them dominion over everything in the world as well as to procreate and multiply the world. Sexual intercourse in marriage is the means through which Gods charge for procreation is being carried out. Also in 1st Corinthians 7:3 the bible encourages sex in marriage and clearly states “The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband.” Sexual intercourse is for married men and women and every religion supports this. I don’t think that there is any society also that does not believe in this. The couple should try and make themselves available to satisfy each others sexual urges to avoid temptation. Sex is not food that we eat on daily basis, in this regard men should not turn their wives into sex machines either. Most men who are into adultery always give that as an excuse. My wife is not always ready for me when I need her. You have to understand your wife and know when best she will be in the mood. Going outside to get involved in extra marital sex is sin and God detests that. I wish every married man happy married life and encourage all unmarried men to try as much as possible to abstain from sex until they get married to be at peace with their creator.
I don’t want to start discussing at length the extent of sexual abuse and immoralities among out teenagers today because this article is meant for men and matured minds. In this regard, we will be discussing about sex during dating and sex in marriage.
Sex during dating: Call it dating, courtship, friendship, relationship, affair, etc you are right because these words are talking about association between two, mostly male and female. Is sexual intercourse during courtship, friendship or relationship outside marriage right? In a concise and straight forward answer, No. The bible says do not fornicate. In 1st Corinthians 6: 18 the bible says “Run away from sexual immoralities, No other sin affects the body as this one does. For sexual sin is a sin against your own body.” Any sexual affair between unmarried people is fornication. Call it what ever name you may wish to give it, the truth is that if she is not your wife ,my guy you are a fornicator and fornication is sin and not pure before humanity and God. On the other hand the woman that is giving in to a man who is not married to her also is a fornicator. Most men today say they can’t marry a woman whom they are not sure can satisfy them in bed, thus reason for having sexual intercourse with her before marriage. Some say we are courting and we need to know everything about each other to be sure we are compatible. I am not against men getting married to women they are compatible with, but sex is not all that makes a marriage to work after all, you are not getting married to her because of sex alone. Or do you intend to turn her to a sex machine after marriage? Most young ladies have messed up their destinies and future because of the word courting. You give in to a man and he makes love to you, after he tells you, am sorry we are not compatible; I can’t marry you. Meanwhile he has messed up your womanhood and pride as a woman. Remember it is not only that he has messed up your womanhood, he has also led you to sin (fornication) before God.
Extra Marital Sex: This is another common sin that is committed by men and women on daily basis. Bible says its better we abstain from sexual intercourse, but where we cannot, we should get married. It is very common today to see married men and women going outside their matrimonial homes to engage in sexual intercourse with strange men or women. The society abhors this and bible calls it sin (adultery). When you are married and you still go outside your matrimonial home to have sexual intercourse with another man or woman, you are an adulterer. Another common one these days is the case of married men having sexual relationships with young and unmarried ladies. She calls you her sugar daddy or Aristo and you are happy. In this case the man is an adulterer while the young lady is a fornicator and neither the society nor God condones this. On another hand you see married women dating young boys who are young enough to be their sons and are happy to talk about it openly. She calls her self sugar mummy and the young man her Gigolo. I pity the young man who does that because he is inviting the rage of God to himself. Proverbs 6 verse 27 to 29 says “Can a man scoop fire into his lap and not be burned? Can he walk on hot coal and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished.”
Sex in Marriage: God ordained marriage and is totally in support of the marriage institution. Like I said earlier, God created man and woman and gave them dominion over everything in the world as well as to procreate and multiply the world. Sexual intercourse in marriage is the means through which Gods charge for procreation is being carried out. Also in 1st Corinthians 7:3 the bible encourages sex in marriage and clearly states “The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband.” Sexual intercourse is for married men and women and every religion supports this. I don’t think that there is any society also that does not believe in this. The couple should try and make themselves available to satisfy each others sexual urges to avoid temptation. Sex is not food that we eat on daily basis, in this regard men should not turn their wives into sex machines either. Most men who are into adultery always give that as an excuse. My wife is not always ready for me when I need her. You have to understand your wife and know when best she will be in the mood. Going outside to get involved in extra marital sex is sin and God detests that. I wish every married man happy married life and encourage all unmarried men to try as much as possible to abstain from sex until they get married to be at peace with their creator.
Friday, January 30, 2009
WHAT DO WOMEN WANT IN THEIR MEN
Men are mare mortals. Born of women though created by God the Supreme Being. For every man there is a woman created for him. Right from the onset man was created not to be alone that was why when God created man, he noticed that he cannot be alone and made woman to keep him company. There are a lot of qualities that women look out for in their men. These qualities may defer from one woman to the other but the deviation may not be that much. The question then is “ Is there any perfect man?” If there is none, why then do women look out for these qualities in their men?
You may be a prince charming, you may be the richest man that have ever lived, are these what women want in their men? This article is going to unfold all those special and specific qualities that women generally look out for in a man. When you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, I will bet that over 90% of women want their men to be all of these;
· Loving: Every woman will want her man to be a loving guy. The word love today is used so freely and carelessly that the meaning is not felt again in the word. Every woman will want her man to always shower her with endless love.
· Understanding: Women like men who understand. Every woman will like a man who understands her mood, countenance, attitude, nature, feelings, temper, values, likes and dislikes.
· Honest: Women like honest men. It is very important for a man to be very honest to his woman. Let your yes be yes and your no, no. Honesty builds trust in your relationship with your woman. So make sure you are always honest to her. She will want to always take you for your word.
· Care: Women are over grown babies. They need care. They want to be pampered. Always show them that you care and are always ready to be there for her.
· Support: Women like men that are supportive. They are the weaker sex remember. They always need a shoulder to lean on. They want their men to be there for them at all times.
· Independence: Every woman wants a man who can stand on his own legs. You can take a decision on your own without being influenced by your friends, parents, colleagues etc. Women want their men to be engaged with a job or business that can take care of his and her own needs.
· Respect: Your woman will want you to respect her. She wants to be called your angel. She will want you to share her opinion and listen to her if need be.
· Communication: Every woman will want to know where you are at all time, what you are doing, what you want to do, who you are seeing, why you are seeing him or her, your plan for the future, your plan for both of you etc. Women like their men to be open to them at all times and not keep them in the dark with what is going on in their man’s life.
· Focus: Women like men who are focused. They like men who have dreams, goals and objectives in life. Your woman will like you more when she finds out you have a great dream and follow it up.
· Appearance: Who says looks don’t have a role in relationship? For most women, their men have to be very handsome before they can date.
· Financial Stability: For most women they want their men to be financially stable. At least the man can take care of himself, the woman and their immediate needs. The man need not be a moneybag, but at least he has to have a means of stable income.
· Fidelity: No woman will want to share her banana with a monkey. Every woman wants to have her man to her self alone. Women like men who are faithful to them. Most relationships that would have been fruitful have scattered because of infidelity and women attach so much importance to this quality in their men.
· Funny: Women like funny men. You always hear most ladies say, “ Oh That guy is so funny, I love him”. Women like men who will put smiles on their faces at all time. If your woman must like you, then you must try to make her happy always.
· Security: Women like men that can give them security. A woman will always love a man she knows she is secured in his arms. A woman will always want her position in your life to be secured and guaranteed.
· Humility: It’s a woman’s desire to see her man humble. She feels proud when her man is down to earth, not pompous.
The list of what women want in their men is inexhaustible, but I very much think that these few points narrated above will always give you an excellent mark before your woman.
You may be a prince charming, you may be the richest man that have ever lived, are these what women want in their men? This article is going to unfold all those special and specific qualities that women generally look out for in a man. When you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, I will bet that over 90% of women want their men to be all of these;
· Loving: Every woman will want her man to be a loving guy. The word love today is used so freely and carelessly that the meaning is not felt again in the word. Every woman will want her man to always shower her with endless love.
· Understanding: Women like men who understand. Every woman will like a man who understands her mood, countenance, attitude, nature, feelings, temper, values, likes and dislikes.
· Honest: Women like honest men. It is very important for a man to be very honest to his woman. Let your yes be yes and your no, no. Honesty builds trust in your relationship with your woman. So make sure you are always honest to her. She will want to always take you for your word.
· Care: Women are over grown babies. They need care. They want to be pampered. Always show them that you care and are always ready to be there for her.
· Support: Women like men that are supportive. They are the weaker sex remember. They always need a shoulder to lean on. They want their men to be there for them at all times.
· Independence: Every woman wants a man who can stand on his own legs. You can take a decision on your own without being influenced by your friends, parents, colleagues etc. Women want their men to be engaged with a job or business that can take care of his and her own needs.
· Respect: Your woman will want you to respect her. She wants to be called your angel. She will want you to share her opinion and listen to her if need be.
· Communication: Every woman will want to know where you are at all time, what you are doing, what you want to do, who you are seeing, why you are seeing him or her, your plan for the future, your plan for both of you etc. Women like their men to be open to them at all times and not keep them in the dark with what is going on in their man’s life.
· Focus: Women like men who are focused. They like men who have dreams, goals and objectives in life. Your woman will like you more when she finds out you have a great dream and follow it up.
· Appearance: Who says looks don’t have a role in relationship? For most women, their men have to be very handsome before they can date.
· Financial Stability: For most women they want their men to be financially stable. At least the man can take care of himself, the woman and their immediate needs. The man need not be a moneybag, but at least he has to have a means of stable income.
· Fidelity: No woman will want to share her banana with a monkey. Every woman wants to have her man to her self alone. Women like men who are faithful to them. Most relationships that would have been fruitful have scattered because of infidelity and women attach so much importance to this quality in their men.
· Funny: Women like funny men. You always hear most ladies say, “ Oh That guy is so funny, I love him”. Women like men who will put smiles on their faces at all time. If your woman must like you, then you must try to make her happy always.
· Security: Women like men that can give them security. A woman will always love a man she knows she is secured in his arms. A woman will always want her position in your life to be secured and guaranteed.
· Humility: It’s a woman’s desire to see her man humble. She feels proud when her man is down to earth, not pompous.
The list of what women want in their men is inexhaustible, but I very much think that these few points narrated above will always give you an excellent mark before your woman.
CAUSES OF DIVORCE IN MARRIAGES
Divorce is one social ill that has befallen the world today. The holy bible detests divorce. The society itself abhors divorce with passion but still every day that passes by marriages fail. Most marriages today are being patched and if care is not taken divorce will still set in. Divorce is always very common in American and European countries as opposed to some countries in Africa. Divorce has a lot evil trends it leaves behind any time it occurs. In some cases children born to such marriages feel deprived of either motherly care or fatherly care. There are many different causes and reasons for divorce, each of them specific to that particular couple’s marital relationship, their individual experiences and personal problems. In general, all the divorce experienced in the world today is as a result of one of the following:
· Immaturity: These days you see a lot of ladies jumping into marriage because of money at a very tender age. When one life challenge or the other comes, the marriage crashes because the lady jumped into marriage at an unripe age when she virtually knows nothing about marriage and life experiences and challenges.
· Infidelity: This has been one of the major causes of divorce. Most marriages have crashed as a result of this. Either the man found out that his wife is cheating on him or the other way round. Only few people can find out about their spouses infidelity and still go on with the marriage.
· Abandonment: Marriage is a union and a union is always between two people. When one of the couple starts feeling that his or her spouse is abandoning him or her, the notion is that another person is taking his or her attention. If not properly checked at this stage, divorce results.
· Lack of Communication: Communication is very important in a relationship. The man for instance should make sure the wife knows what he is doing at all times, where he is going, what he does, his plans etc, on the other hand the wife should not have any secret. When any of the parties starts feeling that there are some things they don’t know, insecurity sets in and if not checked divorce ensues.
· Physical Abuse: Most men turn their wives into punching bags. This is not good as your wife is supposed to be your best friend. Many women endure this and try to patch up their marriage especially in the African countries, but its not so in most developed countries like America. This is another point that causes over 50% of divorce cases today.
· Drug and Alcohol Abuse: Most marriages today have failed because of alcohol and drug abuse. Many ladies enter into marriages without knowing the men they are getting married to until they are in the marriage. When this later unfolds such marriages collapse.
· Ego Problem: Some women are richer than their husbands. Some are more influential because of their positions in society. Due to this, such women don’t like being under their husbands and the man in the bid to show his ego, as the man of the house will not take it. If this tussle is not managed well, such marriage will collapse.
· Sexual Abuse: Most men turn their wives to sex machine. No respect for the woman and her desires. Some men see sexual intercourse as food and will not want to care about their wives feeling and reaction. This has destroyed a lot of marriages.
· Joblessness: Most marriages have crashed because the man could not perform his duties of taking care of the family due to unemployment. Some ladies cannot stand living with a man who cannot provide for her.
· Lust: What most people today call love at first site is lust. You see a woman the first day, you conclude you love her and before one says jack both of you are at the alter exchanging marriage vows. When the truth unfolds, the marriage crashes and people say they fell out of love. It is lust.
· Cultural and Religious Differences: Most people marry people from diverse cultural backgrounds. There have been several cases where most Africans marry Europeans or American citizens only to find out later that they cannot cope with the cultural or religious differences. For peace to reign they go their separate ways (divorce).
· Crime: Most marriages crash as a result of one partner getting involved in crime. People with very good moral background cannot take it to continue living with a man or woman who is arrested and probably imprisoned for crime.
· Incompatibility: If the man and woman are not compatible, there is every reason that the marriage will not succeed. They may be sexually, physically, spiritually or morally incompatible.
· Family Background: The truth is that family background has a lot of influence on people. If your parents divorced, watch it you need to work on your self, otherwise there is every likelihood that you will also divorce.
· Failed Expectations: This is another major reason why many marriages fail. People enter into marriage with a lot of expectations. If these expectations are not met or cut short, it leads to divorce.
The list of reasons why marriages fail or why couples divorce can go on and on. But a lot of researches and real life experiences dance around these points enumerated above.
· Immaturity: These days you see a lot of ladies jumping into marriage because of money at a very tender age. When one life challenge or the other comes, the marriage crashes because the lady jumped into marriage at an unripe age when she virtually knows nothing about marriage and life experiences and challenges.
· Infidelity: This has been one of the major causes of divorce. Most marriages have crashed as a result of this. Either the man found out that his wife is cheating on him or the other way round. Only few people can find out about their spouses infidelity and still go on with the marriage.
· Abandonment: Marriage is a union and a union is always between two people. When one of the couple starts feeling that his or her spouse is abandoning him or her, the notion is that another person is taking his or her attention. If not properly checked at this stage, divorce results.
· Lack of Communication: Communication is very important in a relationship. The man for instance should make sure the wife knows what he is doing at all times, where he is going, what he does, his plans etc, on the other hand the wife should not have any secret. When any of the parties starts feeling that there are some things they don’t know, insecurity sets in and if not checked divorce ensues.
· Physical Abuse: Most men turn their wives into punching bags. This is not good as your wife is supposed to be your best friend. Many women endure this and try to patch up their marriage especially in the African countries, but its not so in most developed countries like America. This is another point that causes over 50% of divorce cases today.
· Drug and Alcohol Abuse: Most marriages today have failed because of alcohol and drug abuse. Many ladies enter into marriages without knowing the men they are getting married to until they are in the marriage. When this later unfolds such marriages collapse.
· Ego Problem: Some women are richer than their husbands. Some are more influential because of their positions in society. Due to this, such women don’t like being under their husbands and the man in the bid to show his ego, as the man of the house will not take it. If this tussle is not managed well, such marriage will collapse.
· Sexual Abuse: Most men turn their wives to sex machine. No respect for the woman and her desires. Some men see sexual intercourse as food and will not want to care about their wives feeling and reaction. This has destroyed a lot of marriages.
· Joblessness: Most marriages have crashed because the man could not perform his duties of taking care of the family due to unemployment. Some ladies cannot stand living with a man who cannot provide for her.
· Lust: What most people today call love at first site is lust. You see a woman the first day, you conclude you love her and before one says jack both of you are at the alter exchanging marriage vows. When the truth unfolds, the marriage crashes and people say they fell out of love. It is lust.
· Cultural and Religious Differences: Most people marry people from diverse cultural backgrounds. There have been several cases where most Africans marry Europeans or American citizens only to find out later that they cannot cope with the cultural or religious differences. For peace to reign they go their separate ways (divorce).
· Crime: Most marriages crash as a result of one partner getting involved in crime. People with very good moral background cannot take it to continue living with a man or woman who is arrested and probably imprisoned for crime.
· Incompatibility: If the man and woman are not compatible, there is every reason that the marriage will not succeed. They may be sexually, physically, spiritually or morally incompatible.
· Family Background: The truth is that family background has a lot of influence on people. If your parents divorced, watch it you need to work on your self, otherwise there is every likelihood that you will also divorce.
· Failed Expectations: This is another major reason why many marriages fail. People enter into marriage with a lot of expectations. If these expectations are not met or cut short, it leads to divorce.
The list of reasons why marriages fail or why couples divorce can go on and on. But a lot of researches and real life experiences dance around these points enumerated above.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
TEN TYPES OF MEN YOU MEET IN LIFE
Life they say is a stage. It’s like a play or role-play that is shown in movies. We all are actors in the stage of life movie. We come in at any particular time, play our different roles an exit when the light is off. That is life and living for us all. In the movie and play of life, we meet different types of men at all times. The type of men you meet and mingle with decides the type of life you live or how well you live your life on earth. We are going to see different types of men that we can meet while on this journey of life. The list of types of men we meet as captured by this write up is not exhaustive, but will capture to a large extent different types of men that we meet while running the race of life.
(a) Those who add value to our lives: Some men we meet add value to our lives. They are men with good virtues, good home upbringing, and highly disciplined people. When you come in contact with such people, your life sees light and automatically you add value to your life and living makes sense to you. They are the type of men that make you realize your dreams in a positive way without soiling your hands or delving into immorality and evil lifestyle.
(b) Those who subtract from your life: This group of men are not ready to and will never add anything good to your life. They are parasites and chronic ones at that. You find them around you because they believe there is something they will gain from you. They are the “What do you have for us” type of friends. You are their friends because you are always there for them when any need arises. Once you are not ready and able to assist them in anything that ends your relationship with them.
(c) Those who leave you the way they meet you: This group is yet another type of men with meet in this life race. They come into your life, play with you, move around with you and they don’t subtract or add anything good or bad to your life. They are there for the sake of just being there. They don’t make any impact in your life when they are there or not it makes no difference.
(d) Those who waste you: This group is almost like those who subtract from your life, but the difference here is that their impact on your life is more deadly than those who subtract from your life. They are known to waste your time, your resources, your talent, your abilities, your competencies, your skills and your person as well. These types of men do not come into your life with any good intention. From the onset, they have made up their minds that they are coming into your life to reduce you to nothing and until they actualize that they won’t leave.
(e) Those who love you genuinely: Here we find men who love you with all their heart. They meet you, like you, like your type of person, like the type of work you do and like everything about you. These types of men will go out of their ways to make you succeed in life. They are happy when you are happy, sad when you are sad, rejoice when you do and take you to the innermost part of their hearts. They are your real friends. You may not know these kinds of men when things are going well for you. There are some of your friends today that you may think are in this group, but try and fake hard times and rough times and watch how many real friends you actually have.
(f) Those who love what you have and not you: This is yet another group of men we find in our lives. This group loves you because of what they see around you. They love you because of your possessions, your abilities, your intelligence etc. These qualities are what attract them to you and not your personality. They love you for what you have, what you are and not who you are. This type of men leave you when they can’t find those things that attracted them to you in the first place.
(g) Those who exploit you: Just like those who subtract from you and those who waste you and your resources, this group are your friends or get attached to you because they want to exploit you.
(h) Those who bless you: This includes those who become blessing to you once they come into your life. Your association or relationship with them leads to your being blessed. People in this group include spiritual friends that pray for you at their quite time. Those who protect your interest even when you are not there. Your pastors also come into this group. They are always blessing you and praying for your good and interceding on your behalf even when you are not with them. Aside from prayers, men in this group can bless you with their finances, their goodwill and material things.
(i) Those who kill you: These types of men are those who come into your life and kill you. Some men may waste your life, exploit you and subtract from you, but still leave you alive. But these men have the sole aim to destroy you and leave you dead. When one intentionally shuts your source of livelihood, he has already killed you, if he has his way with a gun, he will shoot you to death. Some go all out to hire assassins to kill you if they cant do it by themselves. This is true and such is life.
(j) Those who push your away from God, your destiny , your dreams and your life desires: This last set of men are their to destroy you. They will do everything to push away from your divine purpose in life by making you to be far from your creator. They make you to forego your goals in life. They stop you and discourage you from following your dreams and your heart desires.
(a) Those who add value to our lives: Some men we meet add value to our lives. They are men with good virtues, good home upbringing, and highly disciplined people. When you come in contact with such people, your life sees light and automatically you add value to your life and living makes sense to you. They are the type of men that make you realize your dreams in a positive way without soiling your hands or delving into immorality and evil lifestyle.
(b) Those who subtract from your life: This group of men are not ready to and will never add anything good to your life. They are parasites and chronic ones at that. You find them around you because they believe there is something they will gain from you. They are the “What do you have for us” type of friends. You are their friends because you are always there for them when any need arises. Once you are not ready and able to assist them in anything that ends your relationship with them.
(c) Those who leave you the way they meet you: This group is yet another type of men with meet in this life race. They come into your life, play with you, move around with you and they don’t subtract or add anything good or bad to your life. They are there for the sake of just being there. They don’t make any impact in your life when they are there or not it makes no difference.
(d) Those who waste you: This group is almost like those who subtract from your life, but the difference here is that their impact on your life is more deadly than those who subtract from your life. They are known to waste your time, your resources, your talent, your abilities, your competencies, your skills and your person as well. These types of men do not come into your life with any good intention. From the onset, they have made up their minds that they are coming into your life to reduce you to nothing and until they actualize that they won’t leave.
(e) Those who love you genuinely: Here we find men who love you with all their heart. They meet you, like you, like your type of person, like the type of work you do and like everything about you. These types of men will go out of their ways to make you succeed in life. They are happy when you are happy, sad when you are sad, rejoice when you do and take you to the innermost part of their hearts. They are your real friends. You may not know these kinds of men when things are going well for you. There are some of your friends today that you may think are in this group, but try and fake hard times and rough times and watch how many real friends you actually have.
(f) Those who love what you have and not you: This is yet another group of men we find in our lives. This group loves you because of what they see around you. They love you because of your possessions, your abilities, your intelligence etc. These qualities are what attract them to you and not your personality. They love you for what you have, what you are and not who you are. This type of men leave you when they can’t find those things that attracted them to you in the first place.
(g) Those who exploit you: Just like those who subtract from you and those who waste you and your resources, this group are your friends or get attached to you because they want to exploit you.
(h) Those who bless you: This includes those who become blessing to you once they come into your life. Your association or relationship with them leads to your being blessed. People in this group include spiritual friends that pray for you at their quite time. Those who protect your interest even when you are not there. Your pastors also come into this group. They are always blessing you and praying for your good and interceding on your behalf even when you are not with them. Aside from prayers, men in this group can bless you with their finances, their goodwill and material things.
(i) Those who kill you: These types of men are those who come into your life and kill you. Some men may waste your life, exploit you and subtract from you, but still leave you alive. But these men have the sole aim to destroy you and leave you dead. When one intentionally shuts your source of livelihood, he has already killed you, if he has his way with a gun, he will shoot you to death. Some go all out to hire assassins to kill you if they cant do it by themselves. This is true and such is life.
(j) Those who push your away from God, your destiny , your dreams and your life desires: This last set of men are their to destroy you. They will do everything to push away from your divine purpose in life by making you to be far from your creator. They make you to forego your goals in life. They stop you and discourage you from following your dreams and your heart desires.
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